Posts in Random Stuff
Request: 725 Million Dollars for giant robot
Dear Bill and Melinda Gates foundation,

I would like to request a 725 million dollar educational grant in order to build a Gundan. This will be an excellent teaching tool as it will teach people to fear me, an important lesson. Below is the price list of each part according to the Japanese Science Portal.


These numbers do not include the cost of labor to build the machine but I believe that there is considerable room for improvements on this cost.
As the founder of Microsoft I hope that you can get me a copy of windows 7 rather than Vista. I hope that this will reduce the load on the computer so rather than needing IBM's Blue Gene supercomputer I can use my laptop. This alone will same 1,550,000 dollars.
It also seems likely that the gas turbine engines are overpriced at 52 million each. since the 7 of these make up nearly half the cost.
These savings will allow me to hire the engineers it will require to build my Gundan as well as the foundations for the secret lair.
I can even offer you a small partnership in my enterprises which use this Gundan. I believe that there are several small African countries which will be excellent places to consolidate power, and their diamond mines should help to fun my other plans.
There are of course a couple of small things left off this robot, and I will be happy to supply them. The cockpit will not be large so I believe that I can use the wall mounted air conditioner from my bedroom to ensure my comfort and I believe I have a ten meter long laser sword in one of the boxes in my basement.
I have not yet decided if I prefer a mini gun or a rocket launcher on the other arm. Both have their advantages. Finally I will wait to add the jump jets. The stability of this giant robot is already somewhat in question and I would not want to risk jumping over any buildings until it was tested more fully.
I understand that the economy is a bit weak right now and I hope that this slum has not put a damper on your charitable giving Mr. Gates. I would also like to remind you to look carefully into the spinning lights which I have enclosed in this package as a sign of my affection for you and your lovely wife.

Sincerely, Professor Slim


For more information check here.
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Random StuffElton GahrrobotComment
Designer Babies. Perfect for my Genetically Controlled Army

The Fertility Institute in Detroit has began to offer a service called e-implantation genetic diagnosis, or PGD. This will allow parents to choose the gender and even effect the physical appearance of their child.
This alone will be handy since I would prefer my army to all appear similar to me(It makes escaping easier if things go wrong) but that's only a small thing. The important part is that once this becomes acceptable I can begin to suggest that we want our children to be mentally healthy too. Why not use genetic screening to make certain your child listens well and follower, after all you don't want him to run into the street and get hit by a car. Free thinkers just get in the way of true visionaries like myself.
The world has to many artists too, so we'll begin to work on screening that out. Life would be much easier for them if they become an accountant, dentist, engineer or of course a genetically perfect super soldier working for a super secret organization. No need to think all that much and there will always be plenty of work.
For now I must thank the Fertility Institute for running point on this one, and I especially admire the attempt to compare genetically altering your child's appearance to trimming his fingernails and cutting his hair. It's that type of forward thinking that will lead us to the promise land of a post diversity society where no one can be discriminated against because we all look and think the same. Except of course for the few elite free thinkers like myself but positive discrimination and mindless devotion isn't anything you need to worry about. Trust me.

For an alternate point of view check out The Cranky Conservative
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Random StuffElton GahrgeneticsComment
Villains Spotlight: Rainbow Raider
Villain Spotlight : Rainbow Raider

Rainbow Raider appeared originally in Flash Volume 1 Episode 286. His powers include making a hard light rainbow he can ride on and coating people with color that effects their emotions.
His tragic story began as a colorblind child who wanted nothing more than to become an artist and when that dream collapsed he found a new dream fighting against those who cruelly taunted the colorblind with works of art they could not appreciate.

His life was cut short when he was killed by Blacksmith, but do not fear his legacy lives on in a team of color-themed super villains calling themselves the Rainbow Raiders.

I salute this brave warrior for the rights of the colorblind, a misunderstood hero who used his powers in an attempt to create a world where even the colorblind could be equal and my heart goes out for this truly heroic man who was unable to see the beauty even in the rainbows which he created.

Let us take a moment of silence to mourn a life lost to soon.
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Random Stuff, Comic Book ReviewElton GahrVillain spotlightComment
Unexpected moments in Sci-Fi

In this spoiler filled article I want to discuss the times when writers of Sci-fi really surprised me. It’s rare that movies or television take risks and defying the expectations of your audience is a huge risk. It is far easier to tell the story they are expecting and have the special effects solve everything.

5. The Matrix Reloaded/ Matrix Revolutions

I didn’t say good moments. These movies were unexpected to me mostly because they were giant balls of horrible. There were a couple of good moments in them but the bad outweighs the good by enough that I have completely rewritten the story in my mind. In my story Neo finds out that the “real world” is really part of the Matrix as well, made unpleasant for the same reason that the first matrix isn’t perfect. Upon realizing this he wakes up in the real, real world. This even makes sense with him having powers in the “real world”.

(check out How it should have ended for more like this)

4. He’s been a ghost the whole time

I had the sixth sense ruined for me multiple times before I watched it, but this was certainly a great moment. A moment so great in fact that it has just about ruined M. Night’s career as he tries to put a moment like this in every one of his movies.

3. William Shatner sings for George Lucas.

While not in a movie this took one of the longest running rivalries in Sci-fi and played off it perfectly. If you haven’t’ seen the youtube video you have to watch it.

2. Luke, I am your father

I wasn’t watching all that many science fiction movies when this moment happened, but I can’t imagine anyone was expecting it. This moment has been watered down by 30 years of star wars talk, prequels and other silly coincidences in the Star Wars Universe( Robot chicken parody’s this perfectly) but at the moment it was perfect.

1. Serenity – Watching Serenity I wasn’t surprised to see someone die. You have to expect it from Joss Whedon who has always been willing to kill off characters, which was why it was so brilliant of him to lull people into a false sense of security by having Sheppard Book die. Ok, he’s done it, the rest of the characters are.... Bam… Dead.

There are people who hate this, but that is how it should be. Death is supposed to be hard and pulling back from that too much in a movie is a problem. This moment is #1 for me not because it’s better than others but because I experience it personally.

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Random Stuff, Science Fiction ReviewsElton GahrserenityComment
The Universe is Big

Anyone who has spent time around science fiction has heard something of the scale of the universe but science fiction tends to make the universe feel smaller, not larger. This isn’t so much a failing of science fiction as an acceptance of the impossibility of the human mind to truly grasp the size of the universe.

My favorite description of the size of space is Douglas Adams. “Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.” He goes on as Douglas Adams is known to do.

Later in the story he introduces the most terrible torture in the universe, the Total Perspective Vortex, which turns out to be a full understanding of the enormity of creation with a tiny microscopic dot that says “You are here”, this knowledge destroys a person’s mind, proving that no one can afford to have a sense of perspective. It is of course a joke, but that doesn’t make it any less true.

What drew my mind to this recently was the Galaxy Zoo. http://www.galaxyzoo.org/ which is a fantastic project in which you look at pictures of galaxies and determine if they are spiral, elliptical, or merging. It’s relatively simple to tell in most of the pictures, so why do they need me? Simple enough, there are millions of galaxies which need categorized.

Keeping in mind that each of those galaxies has approximately a hundred billion stars scale again begins to come into play as I click through the beautiful pictures you can help but think about how the idea of life in those galaxies.

I don’t know the exact quote so I’ll paraphrase, if there is life on other worlds that would be the most exciting discovery in human history, but if there isn’t then that is even more amazing.

Think about this, if there are millions and millions of galaxies with billions of stars on every one and as it appear from our local studies planets around most of those stars that means there could be trillions of planets similar to earth. Now think about that many world with nothing on them.

Try this, imagine you have a powerful telescope and you look in the most seemingly empty part of space, then you zoom in on the part of that that is most empty and you keep doing that till you are

looking at light billions of years old. They have done it and the field of galaxies which cane be seen, in this tiny fraction of the night sky that seems empty is fantastic.

To go at this in a different direction I want to put down some science fiction stories which got the scale of the universe horribly, horribly wrong.

Star Trek – I have no problem with warp speed or going from world to world, that is simply what is needed for the show to work. I personally think the worst example of misunderstanding the scale of the universe is the galactic barrier.

This is literally a barrier which surrounds the galaxy. Now if we can assume that the enterprise isn’t so stupid that they didn’t notice that they could just go over it, it has to be a bubble. The galaxy is roughly 100,000 light years across and 16,000 light years deep, with doing any math I’d have to say that means that the galactic barrier would have to be bigger than that, or really, really big.

Star Wars—space battles have to be small because otherwise they would be boring and if asteroid belts were really as spread out as they should be there wouldn’t be any point in having one.

I’m only bothered by the fact that it seems that in the galaxy wide empire there appears to be only about 8 planets. Yoda knew Chewbacca? Anakin built C3P0? Why in a universe with 100 billion stars do we go back to the same planets? What are the odds that a brother and sister separated would find each other?
Some of this is storytelling but it does make the Star Wars galaxy feel about the same size as the town I live in.
Galaxies and Solar Systems – Not the same thing
You might think I’m nitpicking but this happens a lot. People think they are being smart I suppose or they just like the word galaxy better. Let me make this clear. A solar system is a single star and its planets, a galaxy is 100 billion stars. Using them as the same thing is absurd. You might as well just call it a hamburger instead of a galaxy because it’s nearly as accurate.

Again, check out Galaxy Zoo and help categorize the universe. Once we get done with the galaxies I say we start on the stars. There are a few trillion of them so that should keep us busy at least until 2013 when the earth ends.
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Random StuffElton Gahrspace travelComment
Nintento Assaults American Way of Life
With the Nintendo DS and the Wii, Nintendo has retaken it position of importance in the video game industry which is why their newest games bother me so much. The DS is the prime offender with two games which recently came out, "Personal Trainer: Math"and "Personal Trainer: Cooking" as well as the Wii Fit.
These games are an assault on everything that video games stand for. Video games are supposed to involve sitting idly for hours in front of a game with warm Mountain Dew and a half eaten Pizza, while pretending to run over people and get in gunfights with the cops, but these new games are problematic.
First there is the attack on Americas plan to become the world's largest civilization not by number, but by mass. Until recently this plan has been working perfectly and many Americans have stepped up to the bar(usually a buffet) and become the mass equivalent of two or even three Oriental people, and while many have stubbornly refused the patriotic call to massive weight gain video games have always been on our side.
Is it surprising then that the company who has been getting us out of the chairs and onto our feet is a Japanese company? I think not, they even want to make us better at math. this is clearly a cultural attack on our God given right to be fat, lazy and stupid and I for one won't stand for it. (Is fact I don't stand for much, it's part of the fat, lazy thing)

Original article at MSN
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Random StuffElton Gahrvideo games Comment
I want a Killer Robot
The military has been using robots in battle for years, and while the technology is still in its infancy with the correct computer programs and a few robots I could truly enjoy myself.
The scene I see is like this, I am sitting in a office in a black suit and tie. On the computer screen I am watching a news story of yet another bank robbery by robots armed with machine guns. Standing in the background is Batman looking as confused as everyone else. How is he supposed to stop a robot with sensors that go 360 degrees and no fear? Even the Batmobile has trouble because they have rockets built in and my robots can be replaced far faster than the Batmobile.
The Batman vows to hunt down the man controlling these robots but I know that I will not make the same mistakes as the Joker. I have nothing personal against Batman, and my robots won't kill anyone. Their guns have been set to avoid hitting anyone unless it is absolutely necessary and even then they aim for knees.
My dreams of becoming a batman villain aside though robots in combat are becoming more common. American more and more expect wars to be painless and one of the solutions to that is to put robots in the field. They may cost money but no one has to call the robot's family if he is blown up.

Thanks to Seth Wolfshorndl and Randy Rustin for the batman drawing. Check out Seth's Deviant art page.
for more information

For more information on the military's kill robots there is an article here.
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Random StuffElton Gahr Comment