I have an odd relationship with the “believe in it and you’ll get it” form of self help. I believe it entirely and unequivocally true, and I think it’s bullshit. I know that’s a contradiction, but let me explain. I’m all in on the if you don’t believe it it’s impossible half of the idea, but I have a much harder time with the and if you believe it will just happen part. But “You are A Badass: How to Stop Doubting your Greatness and Start Living your Awesome Life” by Jen Sincero gets closer to convincing me than most.

You are Badass has, more or less, one goal. To convince you you can achieve more. It gives ideas and ways to achieve that, but most of those come down to convincing you that you can do it. One of the primary ways that Jen Sincero does this is by pointing out what happens when you have no choice. If you needed surgery to live, you’d find the money. If you were kicked out of your house you’d find someplace to live. If you had a flat tire, you’d find the time to fix it. You don’t negotiate those things away in your head, you just do them.

Someone said something a long time ago that struck me hard. He said that you always show up to work on time because that’s a priority, so why don’t you write every day? The question might change. It might be why don’t you eat right or why don’t you call your mother. But the answer is the same. You don’t do it because it’s not a priority. One of Jen’s suggestion is to force it to be a priority. I’ve done this before. If you quit your job, the creativity and motivation for earning money suddenly becomes much higher.

Perhaps the thing I needed to hear most in this book was the section on money. There is nothing wrong with wanting money. Money itself isn’t evil, and having more of it lets you do more good in the world. It’s OK to want to have enough money to go on a dream vacation or to have the car that excites you. It’s OK to do what it takes to get that so long as you don’t do anything to hurt others in the process. I try to believe that and I’m going to try harder because often it feels as if money is impossible, but I’m tired of believing that because I’ve seen the terrible decisions that come out of defeatism.

The truth about self-help books is that most of them cover similar ideas. Believe in yourself. Set goals. Try affirmations and cut out pictures of things you want and past them to your wall. Imagine what your life will be when you get what you want. That’s because those work. So does the belief that the universe is on your side. The belief you exist for a reason and the things you believe are important and that you have something to contribute. I believe I have something valuable to share with the world. I believe that I can do that through the words on a page and I believe that holding that back from everyone else is far more selfish than it is selfish to ask people to help me survive while I do that and I’m going to believe that more because I’ve given myself very little choice.